From Safety to Where?

[darren_stranger]

I need a change of career.

Part of me says i should be grateful to even have a job, especially one with normal hours that pays well, and i should suck it up and get on with it, but i think my attitude to this one is irreparably broken.  I try to take a professional approach and apply myself to my work, but it's hard when so much of it just seems pointless (writing reports that nobody will read, maintaining a paper trail that exists only to keep a certificate on the wall, trying to come up with systems to measure customer satisfaction when we really don't give a shit about our customers).  It keeps bringing me back to the same question: "What the hell am i doing here?"

When i look around i see others who love their work, who take pride in doing something they're good at and care about.  And i wants it, my precious, i wants it.  For thirteen years i've been killing time here while i try to work out what i really want to do when i grow up, but i'm still no closer.  I don't want to just leave here and go on to something else i don't give a shit about, i want to find my niche.  But what is it?

I think what's really brought this home is that Elaine's finally found what she wants to do in this disability work, after years of pointless retail misery.  She's found something where her skills can be used to help people improve their lives, not just talk people into buying something, and where the stresses come from caring about the outcomes, not fretting over sales targets.  That's made me realise that there can be more to work than giving up a third of your waking life to pay for the other two thirds, that work can be part of your life, not something you surrender a chunk of your life for in exchange for money.

But what?  I've thought about following Elaine's lead and doing the disability thing, but i'm still not sure i'm cut out for that (people skills and thinking on my feet in a crisis not being two of my strong points).  Nevertheless, even contemplating that has made me realise how much i'm not interested in the path i'd imagined following simply because that's what i was doing now (a sudden flash of joy at the thought of certain skills being no longer relevant on my CV brought home just how bleak and uninspiring the future i'd pictured was to me).  So what's the alternative?

If i do go down this disability path, it won't be until the year after next, as our utter inability to exist on even one decent wage means i'll need at least a year to save before full time study is an option.  That gives me a bit over a year to decide if that's the path i want to take, or to think of something better.  But how do you know?  How do you find out what you're really cut out for?

I need to work it out soon, because i don't know how much longer i can resist the urge to just stand up, walk out the door and never come back.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/raven_/]

Is working part time an option? Either where you are now, or somewhere else?

Can you work *and* study part time?

Just more things to think about.

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

Elaine's been picking up part time work while she studies, but even with that on top of my salary we haven't been able to live within our means this year, and i can't see that changing next year. I need the thinking time anyway. (But hopefully not another 13 years' worth!)

[http://users.livejournal.com/raven_/]

Yeah that makes sense.

:-(

Is it worth having a hunt for another job in the short term? Even for 12 months or so, to get you out of the rut that you're stuck in..... not all workplaces are the same....

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

Thought about that - but i don't want to go through all of that just for a short term thing. Plus, i need to save enough money to live off for 10 months (theoretically, i'd have to save about $17k, but there would hopefully be a reasonable tax refund in there to help) and the pay here's not bad. If i could stick it out another year and a half i'd have a decent chunk of long service leave up my sleeve, but i don't know if i can hack it that long (and if the company went under i might get zip).

My main concern is the what, more than the when. I could look for another QA job, but even if it was a more professional company i still don't know if i'd be happy in this sort of industry in general (and, to be honest, after so many years here i don't know if i could cut it in a real company).

Basically, if i'm going to take the plunge into the real world, i want it to be something i really want, to make the risk worthwhile.

[octobrianaoz.livejournal.com]

Basically, if i'm going to take the plunge into the real world, i want it to be something i really want, to make the risk worthwhile.

Absolutely. However, to make sure that something is like that, you really have to examine your motivations, and what you like and dislike, and why.

Me -- I love books & information, am slightly obsessive-compulsive, and do actually like dealing with people -- Library worker was "just right" for me. Maybe there is something "just right" for you.

[greylock.livejournal.com]

Wait? People can still afford to study in John Howard's AustraliaTM?

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

TAFE level certificate, much cheaper than tertiary (wouldn't even dream of that). Mind you, the fact i've got tertiary quals might cause complications (some of Elaine's course costs were funded, mine mightn't be).

[http://users.livejournal.com/raven_/]

Oh that's crap.

And worth looking into, I guess.

Mmeh. *hugs*

[dcarson.livejournal.com]

What DO you do? I don't think I've ever asked!

(p.s. if I have asked, I've forgotten the answer, so apologies in advance if that's the case)

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

It's a small company and we all have 'many hats', but the (previously) enjoyable bit has always been the Quality Assurance side. Basically i'm in charge of all the audits and procedures and forms etc to keep the system operating to meet the ISO9001 standard. I've liked the problem solving aspects of that, especially when a solution would emerge that took care of several problems at once. But lately the solutions have been things that exist only on paper, for the benefit of the certification auditors, especially with the management level thrust of the newest version of the standard, which actually tries to force companies to be more professional, goal-oriented and forward thinking. (Ha!)

I had imagined staying in the QA field, perhaps doing the problem-solving thing in a company that actually takes it seriously, but i'm really not sure i belong in this sort of industry at all. A few months back, thinking seriously about the disability idea, i had a little moment of revelation when i realised that i didn't need to worry about trying to get experience in certain areas that would help me in getting QA work elsewhere, because i was no longer heading that way. The sudden rush of happiness and relief i felt made me realise just how much i wasn't inspired by that future.

I've definitely stayed here too long, and both my work habits and attitude have suffered (it really went downhill when they sacked the unionists several years back, and i should have left then like i planned to) and now i don't even know if i could cut it in a 'real' company. But if it was something i gave a shit about, well maybe..

[reddragdiva]

I'd be interested in your professional opinion of the Wikipedia article on ISO 9000. I wrote the history and the criticism section; I'd be interested to know if the article as a whole matches reality for you.

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

Difficult to give a comprehensive answer, as i've only had experience with it in the context of one company in the manufacturing industry (no idea how it would apply to, say, IT or chemistry).

Some observations from my vantage point:

- When i first was involved, it was utterly and solely for the purposes of certification as a marketing issue, and the QA system was largely divorced from the reality of how the company and shopfloor ran, which matches some of the comments in the wiki criticisms. This was somewhat exacerbated by the approach of certifying bodies at the time, who took a very 'compliance' oriented approach (our auditor at the time once boasted that he never left a company without issuing a non-compliance) and was very focussed on meeting every word of every sentence of every clause of the standard (big discussions on 'shall' vs 'should' etc) - this made it very much a requirement imposed from outside and fostered an approach of 'hide that when the auditors come'.

- The 1994 version didn't really change much, just rearranged and reworded a few things, but a big change was in the way the certification auditors approached it. It was more about finding ways to make the system and standard serve the company, rather than the other way around, they approached it more in terms of the 'spirit' of the requirements than the 'letter', and the auditors were now allowed to give us advice on how to fix and improve things, which had previously been forbidden as blurring the line with 'consulting' (don't know if this only applied in Australia). That was when we actually began to Cut The Crap and make the thing work for us.

- The 2000 standard was radically different, in that it took away the very prescriptive, manufacturing oriented arrangement and took on a more general 'identifying and controlling your processes' angle (which probably makes it more applicable to other industries, though i have no first hand knowledge of that). The other big change is that it adds in a lot of 'best practise' type requirements, like customer focus, business planning, measurable goals and targets etc, in order to make all those 'Total Quality Management' buzzwords actually mean something. It's probably be a very useful thing for companies that actually want to be more professional and customer focussed, but again i have no direct experience of that.

Does that help?

[dcarson.livejournal.com]

Hmm.. is there a market out there for consulting/contracting in that field? Maybe not the best idea if you're not sure you belong in the industry at all, but it could potentially get you bouncing around a few different companies to see if it is the industry or just the place you're at that isn't working for you. And if there is such a market, it would surely be higher paid than full-timing, which could be handy for the savings you said you'd need to get back into studying.

[xoreth.livejournal.com]

I can relate. In the end, I just had to leave. My last day was yesterday. I'm very anxious about the future, but I figured, if I didn't go for it, I'd fossilize in that existence. Where to now? Well, I better figure something out soon. I have odd stuff going that will allow for the bare minimum; the hire business, occassional bar work, sporadic paid photography assignments, and the ability to take on some casual IT work if I really get desperate. But I've really got to get my hire business to *that* level.

I guess the difference is that I'm reasonably sure of what I want to do, but being a small business and all, will be tough.

Do you have keen interests that could be molded into some form of income?

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

Not keen interests as such, but i'd be happy to have something that i enjoy and can take some pride in. Working for someone i can respect would be good too (a big part of the issue, which i'll not go into here).

The ideal thing would be something that benefits from where my skills lie but also makes a difference to something or someone. The disability work would definitely meet the latter, but i'm more of an 'on paper', theoretical type than a 'hands-on', people person.

There has to be something though, and i intend to find it..

[frou-frou.livejournal.com]

The career path thing is a doosy...I'm sure that a lot of us never figure it out and those of us who have to worry about paying the rent etc find it particularly tough. (Part of me has always envied those with generous parents who'll fund your preferred lifestyle/career but for most of us, it's not an option. Or rather, it's either an option that you have or don't have.)

There are books that can help you work out what you want to do, and there are counsellors too. Unis and Tafes have good information too. Generally speaking, thinking about what you're good at, what you enjoy, what restrictions that your lifestyle choices involve...sort of thing, will all take you closer to working it out. 'What colour is your parachute' is helpful and comes out every year. It also has lots of good advice about job hunting but is especially good for changing direction.

The older you are, the riskier a change is but the fact is that most of us do it. You're lucky: your financial commitments are probably minimal for your age (ie, no kids or mortage) so you're in a better boat than most.

I've changed direction a few times: leaving school at 16, I started in dead-end hospitality and retail jobs. By age 18 I was faced with the inevitability of going back to school (high school drop outs aren't viewed favourably). At 19 I studied costume design and ended up in fashion, film, theatre....at 28 I was unemployed and some silly person offered me a job in telecommunications. Four years later I found my way into I.T.

I've always needed to support myself (and cats) so most of the jobs I've done were more about getting by than doing what I believed in. I recommend good broad based skills (communication, organisation, admin) and you can work in whatever industry you like. Once you're in a company you can move into the area you want to go. A change doesn't need to involve study: after all, I've been in I.T for 5.5 years and my lack of relevant education has never impeded me.

The work has allowed me to buy a house and with that, allowed me to set up my business and do what I really want to do - it's a lot of work but vintage clothing really is something that I believe in. It's taken ages to get to this point but I feel very lucky: it's all been worth it. Finding something meaningful is definitely something that I can recommend. In the meantime, I had 23 years of compromising just to pay the bills.

Good luck with it all - it's not necessarily easy but is worthwhile.

[severina-242.livejournal.com]

hmmm - I've know a couple of people who've done the old sea change thing. Notably my sister. She used to be an industrial chemist and hated it with a passion and then gave it all up for Opera and eventually being a makeup artist, which she's really really good at. It has meant going from earning $60,000 a year to $8,000, and not being able to have clothes and stuff, to slowly establishing a name as a Makeup artist and doing films, commercials etc, some paid and some not, but hey.

She won't be getting a mortgage anytime soon but she's slowly getting there. It's taken her a good 13 years and several courses and lots of crappy part time bar and waitressing and call centre jobs.

It's not a easy path, but my sister is a hell of a lot happier, even if she's poorer.

[reddragdiva]

Whereas I sort of did the opposite: kept trying to work in a field I loved (music), discovered the music industry was going to make me really hate music, and changed careers to IT. Which I actually like a lot and gives me buckets of money ;-D

[ms-kismet.livejournal.com]

With the IT world, the way between jobs isn't the clearest.
I found however, that while I was in QA, I was getting jack of it all rather quickly, and was lucky enough to get snaffled across to a different department (seeing as they needed extra bodies and aparently I counted as one!). Which made me realise that the parts of the QA role that I loved the most and that I enjoyed the most weren't really QA specific skills. Maybe this might be the same for you - that the skills you're using and enjoying perhaps might be better suited to another job?
Easiest way to start to workout if you can do something - is volunteer work or even just getting close to someone who does do it and then checking out what they do and seeing if its something you could do. If you've got the year to work out things before starting a degree, use it to see what other jobs you could do (while still keeping the paying one you've got). It might help you find something you've never thought about before.

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

The volunteer thing is definitely something i'm going to do with the disability field (something i might even keep doing if i decide not to pursue that as a career). I just need to see if there's something in that direction that requires the sorts of skills i do have (which are more 'on-paper' than 'hands-on'), though i'm far from sure that's where i'll end up going.

It's funny, the 'needed extra bodies' thing is a bit like how i started doing the QA side - i came here in a sales job and would have ditched it as soon as i found something better, but then they fobbed the QA stuff onto me because nobody else wanted to do it, and i found it was something i enjoyed and could get my teeth into, so i stayed. I actually took it from being something that was full of bullshit (like a 'resource review' where they'd photocopy a piece of paper once a year, sign and date it, then file it away never to be looked at again) to actually being real and useful things (the changed approach of auditors helped too), but that's turned back around now with the more management-oriented requirements that really aren't how we do things (plus i've gotten sick of having meetings with the boss where he doesn't even pretend to be interested or listening - and i've slipped too far into the "if no-one else gives a fuck, why should i?" headspace).

I guess i could still be interested in a QA type role somewhere else, but there's still the problem of lack of interest in the industry in general (as i realised in a meeting a couple of months back, one week when the boss actually decided to take an interest in the company - as he was saying how we had to "stay ahead of the game blah blah think smarter blah blah keep running or die blah blah competitive edge blah blah" all i could think of was "i don't belong here").

Plus, after spending so long in a half-arsed company, developing a bad attitude and poor work habits, i don't even know if i could cut it somewhere else, or if the bad attitude and habits would come with me. Maybe i need the extra motivation of doing something i care about to make sure i snap out of that, as well as to make it worth the risk (going back into the labour market after thriteen years in the same job isn't an easy thing).

Still, all this talking about it is helping me think it through more, which is what i need to do.

[octobrianaoz.livejournal.com]

The volunteer thing is definitely something i'm going to do with the disability field (something i might even keep doing if i decide not to pursue that as a career).

Be careful about overcommitting yourself. Volunteering can be good, provided you can control the ammount of time you spend on it.

[octobrianaoz.livejournal.com]

As someone already on a disability allowance, and someone who worked for Social Security for over 11 years...

...I reckon you ought to feel no guilt or stigma about applying. If you're eligible, you'll get it, otherwise you won't. And that's all there is to it!

Mind you I resisted going on da myself, and it wasn't until I was collapsing and having panic attacks that I did. But that was part of my family culture, where unless you had both legs broken, you'd get pressured into going to work.

Having said that, I just applied for a casual library technician's job in one of the local library services. It'll be part time stuff, but I do enjoy the work. That didn't just fall out of the sky though. I went to Commonwealth Rehab Service and did an aptitude test. The two main contenders were Mortuary Attendant, and Librarian. I thought that the former was a bit cliched for someone of my leanings, so I took a TAFE course on the 2nd.

If you're on disability, and start study, you get an extra $60 a fortnight.

I need to work it out soon, because i don't know how much longer i can resist the urge to just stand up, walk out the door and never come back.

Maybe you should. What would be the worst thing that could happen?

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

I guess the 'worst that can happen' scenario is, in four words, Not Paying The Rent. A melodramatic vision of all our things out on the footpath is what keeps me in this chair more than anything (i guess that's what they mean by the things you own owning you).

Either way, next year is my last here. Once i'm not supporting Elaine, i can save some money to cover a years' study (which would really only be 9-10 months) and go from there. I just want to make sure what i go into is the right thing for me (it's disability support work that Elaine's studying and i'm considering, but i'm still not sure if i'm cut out for that in particular).

But, as i was saying to someone last night, i'm obviously not getting anywhere staying here trying to think up a new direction, so maybe i just have to 'hit the road', so to speak, and maybe find my road by experiencing more things outside of this little sandpit.

Should have done it years ago, but better late than never.

[octobrianaoz.livejournal.com]

but better late than never

Absolutely!