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where is my mind?
Jul. 22nd, 2004 09:52 ami'm forever looking up words in the dictionary - new words i've come across, old ones that i suspect might not mean quite what i thought, or words i've used for ages without ever really knowing their exact meaning.
Lately, i've been noticing that i'm looking up the same words over and over, which worries me. It's one thing to look up words like "puissance", which i've never seen before, but when i find myself looking up "onanism" for maybe the third time this year or, this morning, realising i don't remember what "cusp" means, the more sieve-like my memory seems to be.
It's a worry. Seriously, while i've never subscribed to that elitist wankery that equates intelligence with having an extensive vocabulary of obscure words to flash in people's faces, i'm sure i used to have a much better ability to grasp and remember what things mean for my own understanding. More to the point, perhaps, i'm sure i also used to be able to follow complicated or philosophical discussions more easily too, and i'm starting to think that i have a serious IQ leakage going on somewhere.
Not that i'm imagining premature dementia or other degenerative conditions, but i often find myself wondering if i've killed off a lot of my brain matter through too many years of alcohol, television and pop music, or just let it atrophy through chronic underuse.
(and yes, i did have to stop myself looking up 'atrophy' to check that it was a verb, though that's just because i'm thinking about words and being paranoid).
Or maybe i'm just getting old and can't get by on six hours' sleep a night any more.
Lately, i've been noticing that i'm looking up the same words over and over, which worries me. It's one thing to look up words like "puissance", which i've never seen before, but when i find myself looking up "onanism" for maybe the third time this year or, this morning, realising i don't remember what "cusp" means, the more sieve-like my memory seems to be.
It's a worry. Seriously, while i've never subscribed to that elitist wankery that equates intelligence with having an extensive vocabulary of obscure words to flash in people's faces, i'm sure i used to have a much better ability to grasp and remember what things mean for my own understanding. More to the point, perhaps, i'm sure i also used to be able to follow complicated or philosophical discussions more easily too, and i'm starting to think that i have a serious IQ leakage going on somewhere.
Not that i'm imagining premature dementia or other degenerative conditions, but i often find myself wondering if i've killed off a lot of my brain matter through too many years of alcohol, television and pop music, or just let it atrophy through chronic underuse.
(and yes, i did have to stop myself looking up 'atrophy' to check that it was a verb, though that's just because i'm thinking about words and being paranoid).
Or maybe i'm just getting old and can't get by on six hours' sleep a night any more.
