Oh, there is that. And i'm sure people have been labelled 'creeper' for little more than showing interest in someone, but i don't think any of those articles were coming from there. The ones i read were pretty clearly about antisocial behaviour, which i agree is the responsibility of the person doing it. Perhaps the one view that i objected to was this one:
"3. Acknowledge that no one’s required to inform you that you’re creeping (or help you to not be a creeper). It’s nice when people let you know when you’re going wrong and how. But you know what? That’s not their job. It’s especially not their job at a convention or some other social gathering, where the reason they are there is to hang out with friends and have fun, and not to give some dude an intensive course in how not to make other people intensely uncomfortable with his presence. If you are creeping on other people, they have a perfect right to ignore you, avoid you and shut you out — and not tell you why. Again: you are (probably) a fully-functioning adult. This is something you need to be able to handle on your own."
While that's technically all true, and might be a good perspective for someone that's using ignorance as an excuse, i don't think it's exactly helpful for actually solving the problem. If someone's acting in ways that make you uncomfortable and you want them to change their behaviour, how about actually telling them so? Could be a good place to start at least. The guy in question may have No Fucking Idea that he's being 'creepy' and may just need to be set straight. Simply shunning someone without explanation isn't going to achieve much if they have no idea what they've done. (As you can probably guess, i have quite vivid memories of occasions of very pointed ostracism that i still have no idea, 25 years later, what they were about. These articles got me wondering if it could have been because of something i'd done, rather than the 'loser' sign sticky-taped to my back that i always assumed it to be, but i'll never know.) At least in the first article, some people went out of their way to tell the 'creeper' what he was doing wrong. They probably deserve a medal or something.
I guess you could also get into other issues like mixed signals, manipulation or people (of either gender) using sexuality as a weapon, but i think that's probably outside the scope of what these articles are on about.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-08-16 01:58 am (UTC)Oh, there is that. And i'm sure people have been labelled 'creeper' for little more than showing interest in someone, but i don't think any of those articles were coming from there. The ones i read were pretty clearly about antisocial behaviour, which i agree is the responsibility of the person doing it. Perhaps the one view that i objected to was this one:
"3. Acknowledge that no one’s required to inform you that you’re creeping (or help you to not be a creeper). It’s nice when people let you know when you’re going wrong and how. But you know what? That’s not their job. It’s especially not their job at a convention or some other social gathering, where the reason they are there is to hang out with friends and have fun, and not to give some dude an intensive course in how not to make other people intensely uncomfortable with his presence. If you are creeping on other people, they have a perfect right to ignore you, avoid you and shut you out — and not tell you why. Again: you are (probably) a fully-functioning adult. This is something you need to be able to handle on your own."
While that's technically all true, and might be a good perspective for someone that's using ignorance as an excuse, i don't think it's exactly helpful for actually solving the problem. If someone's acting in ways that make you uncomfortable and you want them to change their behaviour, how about actually telling them so? Could be a good place to start at least. The guy in question may have No Fucking Idea that he's being 'creepy' and may just need to be set straight. Simply shunning someone without explanation isn't going to achieve much if they have no idea what they've done. (As you can probably guess, i have quite vivid memories of occasions of very pointed ostracism that i still have no idea, 25 years later, what they were about. These articles got me wondering if it could have been because of something i'd done, rather than the 'loser' sign sticky-taped to my back that i always assumed it to be, but i'll never know.) At least in the first article, some people went out of their way to tell the 'creeper' what he was doing wrong. They probably deserve a medal or something.
I guess you could also get into other issues like mixed signals, manipulation or people (of either gender) using sexuality as a weapon, but i think that's probably outside the scope of what these articles are on about.
Still, what was it you were thinking of?