perspective

[darren_stranger]

Last week my brother-in-law was rushed to hospital with what turned out to be a large cancerous tumour, which they removed right away, but found had spread to other areas.  In the end the prognosis was that his chances are quite good, but for a while things were looking pretty grim.  In the 24 hours that it took to get a proper answer from the doctors (after a brief "you've got cancer, it's spread, fill you in later"), he'd made his will, told his friends and family and was pretty much resigned to the fact he was dying.

While i was worried about what he and his family were going through and what was going to happen to them, my thoughts also kept coming back to that other question:  What if it was me?  What if i was told i was dying?  How would i feel, what regrets would i have, and what would matter to me aside from those i'd be leaving behind?  One thing really came home to me:  All the things that i occupy so much of my mind and time with, my likes and dislikes, the things i like to do, read, wear or look at, so much of what i think of as 'me' really wouldn't matter, as all of that would in the end be taken away and gone.  There's a lot said about the things you can't take with you, in terms of material wealth and possessions, but i realised that it also applies to things you do as well as the things you have.  Things you do for yourself, the things you enjoy and experiences you have accumulated - when you die you lose all that.  It occurred to me that the only thing you won't lose is what you've given out into the world, as you've already given it away.  All the rest - that's just wallpaper to make this life pleasant while you're living in it, but it's not what counts.  I've had similar ideas before, but this brought it home to me in a way that was much more real and immediate.  (And yes, this is what i most want to change in my own life).

I guess this is why some philosophers and religious people say you should always be mindful of the fact that you could die any day - not because of what could happen in the next life, but to put into perspective what really matters in this one.

So, cliche or not, there's something to think about:  If you were told tomorrow that you were dying, what would really matter to you?