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darren_strangerDropped by the Greenroom on the way home. Entry's $20 and the Sinshifters aren't on until 2am. So much for that idea.
Then i remembered seeing someone posting about after-work drinks, but with trying to cram a day's LJ skimming into a few legitimate break times, i couldn't remember who, when or where. So instead i just hopped on a tram to Brunswick Street to go have a couple of beers by myself (something i used to enjoy, but have been doing far too much of lately).
Just as i was about to hop off at Brunswick Street, i spotted Roby sitting on the tram, but i was in such a foul mood by then that i didn't feel up to conversation so i just kept walking. So now i'm snubbing friends so i can go spend time brooding on my lack of social life - what the fuck is that about?
Three days back at work and i'm already into "how can i drag my arse into work all week if there's nothing to look forward to at the end of it?" mode. Thought it'd take at least 'til the end of the month.
God, this is pathetic. I spend so much time brooding about things i don't get to do because so little of my time belongs to me, then whenever i do get a bit of time of my own i can't think of what i want to do with it. I should be grabbing life by the balls while i'm still young (ish) and healthy but i'm just passing time waiting to get old, and the things that i am doing that should count as meaningful seem more like chore and obligation lately than something i'm passionate about. And just knowing that other people have real shit to deal with, whether chronic illness, crippling debt or giant fucking tidal waves, just makes it more pathetic and wasteful.
I'm sure i can find other things to whinge about, but i'm bored with that too so i think i'll just go up the pub.
(Edit - gee, that wasn't supposed to turn into that much of a whinge session, but i guess i had to get that out before i can start thinking how to fix some of these things).
Then i remembered seeing someone posting about after-work drinks, but with trying to cram a day's LJ skimming into a few legitimate break times, i couldn't remember who, when or where. So instead i just hopped on a tram to Brunswick Street to go have a couple of beers by myself (something i used to enjoy, but have been doing far too much of lately).
Just as i was about to hop off at Brunswick Street, i spotted Roby sitting on the tram, but i was in such a foul mood by then that i didn't feel up to conversation so i just kept walking. So now i'm snubbing friends so i can go spend time brooding on my lack of social life - what the fuck is that about?
Three days back at work and i'm already into "how can i drag my arse into work all week if there's nothing to look forward to at the end of it?" mode. Thought it'd take at least 'til the end of the month.
God, this is pathetic. I spend so much time brooding about things i don't get to do because so little of my time belongs to me, then whenever i do get a bit of time of my own i can't think of what i want to do with it. I should be grabbing life by the balls while i'm still young (ish) and healthy but i'm just passing time waiting to get old, and the things that i am doing that should count as meaningful seem more like chore and obligation lately than something i'm passionate about. And just knowing that other people have real shit to deal with, whether chronic illness, crippling debt or giant fucking tidal waves, just makes it more pathetic and wasteful.
I'm sure i can find other things to whinge about, but i'm bored with that too so i think i'll just go up the pub.
(Edit - gee, that wasn't supposed to turn into that much of a whinge session, but i guess i had to get that out before i can start thinking how to fix some of these things).
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no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 09:32 am (UTC)Good thing I didn't attempt a hello though, given the mood ;)
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Date: 2005-01-14 09:51 am (UTC)I'm sure you have the willpower to make things happen.
If you ever fancy a visit to ours, we'd love to have you. Seeing friends (at the other end of Melbourne and all) and all that.
xo
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Date: 2005-01-14 10:03 am (UTC)Do you long for those hours of your day that are your own?
What you need is A Plan™
no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 11:09 am (UTC)"Strategy."
"What about it?"
"Need some."
:)
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Date: 2005-01-14 11:15 am (UTC)If he was wearing a backpack and carrying a hat, chances are it were me.
A hello probably wouldn't have been too disastrous (quizzical god i know you from somewhere but fucked if i can remember where looks notwithstanding) - it was more an unable to face starting a conversation mood than a fuck off and leave me alone one.
Can't recall spotting you, but i was in self-absorbed mode and it must have been years since the one time we've met in the flesh world.
(Might have been easier if you were sporting a rat on your head though).
:)
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Date: 2005-01-14 11:20 am (UTC)*hugs back*
Sounds nice, though gods know when we would ever extract fingers and follow through with such a plan.
More truthfully, i honestly have no idea what you actually do when dropping in to visit friends for no especial reason, i've done it so rarely. That's probably the real reason i do it so rarely.
(Spot the isolated ex-country boy mode).
no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 01:54 pm (UTC)And there can be only one.
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Date: 2005-01-14 02:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 03:18 pm (UTC)I recommend Miss Haversham's "Lack Of Determination" oil.
Failing that... beer with people like... us! :) We should have some sort of strange resolution "thingy" ('cos I don't do resolutions y'know) to catch more regularly this year. I don't know what consolations we may be able to offer, but it would help a lot of us out on the 'drinking alone' thang. Plus, obviously, gigs are always good. :)
*hugs*
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Date: 2005-01-14 03:19 pm (UTC)to catch more regularly this year
...or catch UP more regularly, even...
no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-14 09:15 pm (UTC)Highlander: Goth Games :)
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Date: 2005-01-16 02:22 pm (UTC)I feel that way too at the moment. I often find that any spare time I have is spent cleaning the house and stupid things like that that *have* to be done, and the stuff I want to do has to get shuffled off for later, and later never seems to come.
I'm going to try and see what discipline and a ban on excessive drinking during the week does to my output. But work has been so draining that I just want to have some sort of fun when I get home, and usually lame fun at that, like watching Spongebob Squarepants.
{{{{Hugs}}}} If you ever want to catch up for a beer and a chat, a beer and a bitch or anything, email me.
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Date: 2005-01-16 02:50 pm (UTC)Catching (up) for beer would indeed be the best medicine.
"Alcohol - the cause of and solution to all of life's problems".
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Date: 2005-01-16 02:59 pm (UTC)The other thing i want to write down is ways to fix the things i should be enjoying but that have become chores (stuff like anticipating when these refereeing things are going to come up so i don't have to change plans on short notice, or actually speaking up about how all i ever do is teach taekwondo and never get to train for myself). That's going to be one of the big things for this year.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 06:03 pm (UTC)Ugh, house cleaning. Spent half my holiday doing that.
Catching up for beers and chats is something i intend to do much more of this year, whenever i can co-ordinate free time.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-16 07:21 pm (UTC)Turning negatives into positives is very empowering. Sometimes its just a matter of taking action, any action & that may spark a whole new thought process & action path.
*hugs*