Dec. 10th, 2006

darren_stranger: (Default)

I need to readjust my focus a little.

The past year or two has been a time largely dominated by rediscovering my passion for martial arts, which has led to changes in my outlook and self-image and thinking a lot about ideas of self-improvement and building self-confidence, self-discipline etc.  All good stuff, but at the end of the day there's a hell of a lot of 'self' in there. When i stop and think about it, i find i need to balance that out with a bit more of the doing things for others that i used to hold so dear.

In years past, an easy thing used to be to just give money to worthy causes, but i haven't been able to do that to since Elaine stopped working full time, and it's even less feasible now with this mortgage to support.  Money aside, things like writing for Amnesty and other activism have tailed off too, possibly as a symptom of the general pessimism and demotivation i've felt about things political, or maybe just through laziness and self-absorption. I really need to get that focus back, as it feels like i've lost a big part of who i am and what i used to believe in.

As the kung fu movie i was watching yesterday Einstein put it: "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile" and i think i need to find ways to put that into practice. 

Otherwise, all i've become is one of Howard's Battlers: a selfish cunt hardworking joe who doesn't give a shit about anything but himself and his own would like to help but have a mortgage to worry about first. 


(edit - afterthought 28/12/06)

I remembered where else i was going with this.  As well as the 'big picture' sort of ideas of doing things to make a difference, i also want to use this in a smaller way as a notion to guide day to day decisions.  Basically, if i'm trying to decide on a course of action, i want to use the principle of 'doing something for someone else' as another factor to weigh up, and to always be looking for opportunities to put this idea into practice.

Might take a bit of practice, but bit by bit i should get better at it.

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